Coming off my meds.

Isn’t it funny how we have our own little home comforts, mine is my dressing gown, my Slytherin throw and tea in my “Mrs” cup, I still can’t believe I am actually a Mrs now. People always say it goes by so fast and boy were they right. I cannot believe its been 6 weeks already.

I’ve been quiet on my blog and Instagram for a while now, partially because of the wedding, partially because I started losing interest, it turned into a numbers game and less about getting my thoughts and feelings out there and most importantly I stopped because, amidst all the chaos of planning a wedding, I decided to come off my anxiety medication. I’ve got to be honest I feel so much better since ditching my medication. It helped me for a while and I’m extremely grateful that I had it to keep me sane but after a while, it started making me worse, not better and I was having side effects because of this. The doctor then recommended I take them every other day instead.

At first, it was going well then I kept forgetting when I took it and what day I didn’t need to take it so sometimes I was going 3-4 days without anything. So I decided to go cold turkey (which FYI I don’t recommend if you’re going to come off them do it through your doctors care and advice) I had awful withdrawals; headaches, mood swings, anxiety, depression, stomach cramps, you name it.  it took a good few weeks to start feeling better and every day I questioned if I should just take a tablet again, I’m glad I stuck it out in the end but boy it was hard.

I don’t know why but the thought of getting married without medication in my system was my end goal and I did it. It may sound stupid but I wanted to be ‘me’ for our wedding, the real me.

I just wanted to share my journey coming off my meds to show people that its not always a long term thing, it is possible to come off them eventually, if you’re emotionally ready but even if you’re on them long term that’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, without my medication after having Finley I don’t know how I would have coped.

Anxiety and depression can be a horrible and lonely illness. so if your reading this make sure you reach out to people, check in on your friends and family you never know whos struggling behind closed doors and if it’s you that’s struggling and someone asks how you are, trust them. Don’t filter how your feeling because you “don’t want to be a burden on them” They want to know!! They want to help and sometimes just saying out loud how you feel or writing it down can be a help too.

*On that note if anybody reading this needs a shoulder to cry on, a cuppa and a chat or just a friend to message my inbox is always open. If I can help in any way I will.*

Love,

Mrs Phillips x

Happy Halloween; Blogtober Day 31

Can I just start this last post of Blogtober by saying I hope you’ve all had a great Halloween.

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We’ve had such a great day today we started out going to Llanciach Fawr where we took part in various activities and we watched a magic show. Aria got over her fear of bouncy castles.

We got to see some fascinating animals including a possum, meerkats, a lizard and some sort of bug. I’m not quite sure what bug it was his name was Vinnie but he was part of the arachnid family but also looked a little like a scorpion, I actually held Vinnie and I was quite surprised at myself, I wasn’t scared at all and you couldn’t even feel him on your hand. I also held the lizard which was beautiful. I have to say I was gutted though because the day before they had snakes and an armadillo, I absolutely love snakes!

We also played outside on the slide and with footballs, hoops and bean bags which both the kids absolutely loved. Not as much as Aria loved the bouncy castle though I actually had to drag her off there kicking and screaming when we had to leave. We finished off with a puppet show before we headed home for some dinner and then trick or treating. Aria loved the fact she got sweets for knocking on peoples doors and I can already imagine what she will be like tomorrow asking for some. Finley on the other hand, we decided to take him on his reins, BIG MISTAKE! He dropped to the floor about 100 times which meant he was soaking wet from head to toe. He wouldn’t stay still so I just looked like a greedy adult asking for sweets while Finley was nowhere to be seen. He finally got the hang of knocking doors when we were nearly home, maybe next year he will be a bit more into it. Fingers crossed.

 

 

Blogtober is drawing to a close; Blogtober Day #30

Only one more day till Halloween and it will be one whole month of blogging! I honestly can’t believe I’ve stuck to it. I usually start 30-day challenges, do well for the first week and a half then miss one day for one reason or another and think fuck it what’s the point, I’ve already missed a day what’s another, then I never start it again.

To be honest sticking to Blogtober has been challenging at times to think of post ideas, to keep on track and to fit in the time to write posts up. Some posts have been good, some have been bad but I’ve almost done it.

I think next year, if I take part in Blogtober or if I take part in Blogmas this year I will definitely plan ahead more to take the pressure off a bit. I’ve found myself panicking and staying up late when I should go to bed just to write posts so that I don’t miss a day.  I’m so glad I stuck to it!

Now that Blogtober is drawing to an end I’m slowly going to start focusing on my Instagram again and go back to sharing other parents birth stories, parenting hacks/tips/advice. I plan on reverting back to my niche! I will still have a few random posts and I plan on posting more regularly than I was before Blogtober but maybe not daily.

What are your aims for after Blogtober?

 

Our Half Term Plans; Blogtober Day #29

The first day of half term and we’ve had a pretty chilled day, we’ve watched one of Arias (and my favourite) Disney film; the princess and the frog. We’ve also carved our pumpkins, no need to guess which one is mine.

Today is the only day we haven’t got any plans throughout half term. Tomorrow Arias going shopping with her Nannie. Wednesday we are going on a trip with the other mums from creche to Llanciach Fawr. I remember going there as a child with the school but can’t for the life of me remember what’s there. I’m really looking forward to it though it will be so nice to take the kids out somewhere new, to let them explore and have some fun. Then when we come home we’re going trick or treating. (we’re dressing as the Addams family) Thursday we are having a play date with cousins and I’m having a catch up with my auntie so we’ve got a fun-filled week ahead!

What’s everyone else doing to keep the kids entertained over half term?

10 Pumpkin Carving Ideas; Blogtober Day #28

If you saw yesterdays post you will know me and Dan had a little date night. It was actually a surprise birthday meal for one of my closest friends so obviously I couldn’t write about it then but it was so lovely to have an adult conversation, good (hot) food and time as a couple.

Tomorrow we will be pumpkin carving with the kids so here are some ideas on what to do with your pumpkins.

  1. Harry Potter (my favourite)

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2. Jack Skeleton

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3. Mike Wazowski

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4. Cheshire Cat

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5. Skull with brains

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6. Bats and Stars

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7. Tinkerbell

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8. Oogie Boogie Man

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9. Spider

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10. Spiderman

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Take time for those that matter; Blogtober Day #27

As parents we often forget how important it is to not be parents for a bit, of course, we are still parents but finding time to just be Dan and Charlotte is equally as important as spending time with your kids.

When you become a parent you often lose yourself (not like Eminem) but you lose your identity, you forget who you were before you were “mum” and “dad” as much as you love those little darlings with all your heart and cherish the moments you have with them (some more than others) it can get you down just doing the same thing day in day out and not getting any “me” time or any time as a couple. Children are made out of love (mostly) so don’t forget to love your partner just as much as you did before. Make the effort to have date nights or play a board game at home when the kids are asleep. Keep working on your relationship, children don’t always bring people together, sometimes children tear couples apart. Nothing to do with the child itself but due to stress, lack of time as a couple and little effort with each other.

Today’s post is a little shorter than usual because I’m practising what I preach and we are going for a date night.

We all make time for what we feel is important in our lives

10 Things you probably didn’t know about me; Blogtober Day #26

I can’t believe that it was two months yesterday till Christmas!! I know I’m supposed to be doing posts autumn/ Halloween related but I’m so excited and nervous for Christmas this year. I can’t wait because the kids are finally getting excited (okay well Aria is) but then, on the other hand, this year we are struggling majorly with money, with the wedding to pay for, both of us learning to drive, a car to buy and Christmas approaching rapidly it scares the shit out of me.

So I’m going to lighten the mood a little and do 10 facts about me post.

  1. I’m a qualified hairdresser and beauty therapist but I don’t do anything with it other than cutting Finley’s hair. I’d love to get back into the beauty side but more down the massage/spa route.
  2. I have 5 tattoos. A yellow rose on my hip with the date my mother passed away, a Pheonix on my lower back/side holding the deathly hallows sign with “mischief managed” wrote underneath. I have a small “D” on my foot for Dan, a mother cradling a baby with Aria and Finley’s names underneath on my arm and above that, a portrait of my mother with “love always” wrote underneath in her handwriting. I eventually want a full sleeve, an underboob tattoo and a thigh tattoo.
  3. I only have one piercing (well two) my ears but I did have my belly button and both my nipples pierced. My body just seems to reject piercings though.
  4. I once electrocuted myself by putting my tongue on a plug socket, a toy microwave. I was devastated when my dad took it off me it made real cupcakes. Can’t say I blame him mind.
  5. My biggest dream is to become an author, I love writing and am currently in the process of writing my own book so watch this space.
  6. I’m getting married in 6 months! How has it come around so quick it seems like only yesterday we booked our wedding, after a night of new years celebrations we woke up and decided to book.
  7. I was scared to ride a bike until about two months ago when we decided we wanted more family days out so we both got bikes.
  8. My latest fascinations are healing crystals, palmistry and tarot cards. Healing crystals I started getting into because its something I remember my mother loved and I guess I want to feel close to her in some strange way. It also fascinates me to see all the beautiful colours and all the different uses/meanings behind them. I got into palmistry and tarot cards just because I saw an app that scans your hands to read them and then you have to join/pay to find out your answers so I thought I’d just learn it myself.
  9. I’ve also started learning Welsh on the duolingo app. It’s silly really but I can barely speak any Welsh yet I live in Wales, I was born in Wales, I’m Welsh!
  10. I suffer from anxiety.