Isn’t it funny how we have our own little home comforts, mine is my dressing gown, my Slytherin throw and tea in my “Mrs” cup, I still can’t believe I am actually a Mrs now. People always say it goes by so fast and boy were they right. I cannot believe its been 6 weeks already.
I’ve been quiet on my blog and Instagram for a while now, partially because of the wedding, partially because I started losing interest, it turned into a numbers game and less about getting my thoughts and feelings out there and most importantly I stopped because, amidst all the chaos of planning a wedding, I decided to come off my anxiety medication. I’ve got to be honest I feel so much better since ditching my medication. It helped me for a while and I’m extremely grateful that I had it to keep me sane but after a while, it started making me worse, not better and I was having side effects because of this. The doctor then recommended I take them every other day instead.
At first, it was going well then I kept forgetting when I took it and what day I didn’t need to take it so sometimes I was going 3-4 days without anything. So I decided to go cold turkey (which FYI I don’t recommend if you’re going to come off them do it through your doctors care and advice) I had awful withdrawals; headaches, mood swings, anxiety, depression, stomach cramps, you name it. it took a good few weeks to start feeling better and every day I questioned if I should just take a tablet again, I’m glad I stuck it out in the end but boy it was hard.
I don’t know why but the thought of getting married without medication in my system was my end goal and I did it. It may sound stupid but I wanted to be ‘me’ for our wedding, the real me.
I just wanted to share my journey coming off my meds to show people that its not always a long term thing, it is possible to come off them eventually, if you’re emotionally ready but even if you’re on them long term that’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, without my medication after having Finley I don’t know how I would have coped.
Anxiety and depression can be a horrible and lonely illness. so if your reading this make sure you reach out to people, check in on your friends and family you never know whos struggling behind closed doors and if it’s you that’s struggling and someone asks how you are, trust them. Don’t filter how your feeling because you “don’t want to be a burden on them” They want to know!! They want to help and sometimes just saying out loud how you feel or writing it down can be a help too.
*On that note if anybody reading this needs a shoulder to cry on, a cuppa and a chat or just a friend to message my inbox is always open. If I can help in any way I will.*
Mrs Phillips x